A new battle.

Destroying yourself is a lot easier, and strangely, a lot more fun than most people would imagine. You lose sight of everything that you want to be. No that’s incorrect, you don’t lose sight of it, and you simply give up all hope of ever making it a reality. Life is hard and even though we were told that our whole life, many of us never knew. We thought we were hearing foolish words from resentful adults who weren’t happy with how their life had turned out. But at some point you come to realize, they weren’t wrong. Irrespective of your success or failure in the pursuit of your dreams, life is hard.

Perhaps succeeding in your chosen pursuit makes life easier. I wouldn’t know. After a foolish and (I believe fortunately) failed attempt at ending my own life I came to the obvious conclusion that I’m certainly not the only one with obstacles and difficulties in life. But what scares me more than anything is the complete lack of direction. I’m adrift at sea with no heading and no wind. Where does one go from there? I don’t know yet and I don’t know how to begin to find out.

One of the things that stood out, in my mind, is that I’m unsatisfied simply working in any kind of production line. I want to be able to create something. Whether it’s the design for a brilliant car, an interesting read for a few people, a beautiful photograph for people to admire or even something I haven’t even thought of yet, I believe that the only two things that are worthwhile in life are the gathering and spreading of knowledge and the creation of something that could not have existed were it not for you.

I quit my job and took some time out to figure out what exactly I want from life. The answer still isn’t clear to me. But I know now that I want to write. I want to ride. I want to experience. I refuse to settle for routine. I refuse to settle for mediocre. I reject that kind of existence. No matter how idealistic it sounds, I’d rather get by on little with an interesting life than have riches in currency and none in experiences.

I’m still figuring this out. I’m making it up ads I go along. But I won’t give up yet. Acknowledging this is possibly the first step, for me. But it’s certainly not my last.

Perspective.

The pain we experience ourselves is so much milder and more tolerable than what those who empathize with us believe we do. And in contrast the success we experience is so much milder than those who envy us believe it to be.

Existential Crisis: Is it really so unjustified?

Reality has always been a paradox of sorts: the world we observe around us appears to be governed by a very clear set of principles whether we’re discussing grains of sand or the red supergiant Betelgeuse. Once we go to the sub atomic scale however, everything we thought we know goes straight out the window.

The fundamental particles of matter and energy adhere to a very different set of rules that by their very nature appear incredibly random and change rapidly. From a sub-atomic perspective, the universe is based not on solid information, rather, it is based on probability. For instance, in the quantum world, an electron does not have a fixed location. It may be either at location A, location B or possibly, BOTH locations at the same time. The very universe itself may need someone or something to observe it in order to collapse into existence. Think it sounds ridiculous? Consider this, then: the very act of observation can cause significant changes to the way an electron behaves in an environment where all other factors remain unchanged. This observation was made in historic double slit experiment (explained in the below video)

As demonstrated in the video, the nature of the smallest particles in the universe is not set in stone, but rather fluctuates between many possible states. What’s astounding is that it appears matters is able to respond to the act of observation. In other words, it is able to respond to external stimulus (this raises questions about the nature of conciseness, but that subject is beyond the scope of this article). What we can gleam from this is that an unobserved universe may be entirely different form the one we see and know, and more significantly, an unobserved universe may not exist at all because observation may be a necessity for existence. With the same line of thought, what exactly created the first particles? Are we real in the way we think we are? Or are we truly some sort of simulation?

Several theories have been in existence which point to the whole universe being a projection of two dimensional information in a virtual plane. These theories are slowly gaining more and more traction with physicists. At this point, there’s no concrete evidence that any of these theory are real. However, several indications do exist that it is a very real possibility.

Let’s have a look at the indicators for one theory in particular: a theory that states that the entire universe exists within a black hole. Black holes are the one realm of the universe that don’t fit into conventional Newtonian physics or quantum physics. Only theoretical evidence exists to back this theory: to understand it, we must first understand how a black hole grows. The first thing to understand is that adding more mass to a black hole, makes it less dense. Typically, when a spherical object doubles its mass without causing change to its density, the increase in the radius is not double, it is the cube root of two times the radius. This is because volume is determined by the cube of the radius and not the radius itself.

In a black hole however, the growth is very different. The mass of the black hole, if doubled, results in a doubling of the radius as well. In fact, the core of the black hole doesn’t actually get much larger because black holes are essentially points, they are infinitely dense and the mass is all concentrated to a single point (primarily because there’s no empty space between particles as there is typically in regular matter.) Instead, what expands is the Event Horizon in other words, if you take the black hole as a whole, doubling the mass of the black hole will increase its volume by 8 times. 2x the mass and 8x the volume means density is quartered (density = mass/volume).

It has been hypothesized that any- and every-thing that goes into a black hole is preserve in the form of information on the surface of the black hole itself. To look at it another way, it is possible to use the information on the surface of a black hole to create the entirety of every atom swallowed by the black hole. In theory, a black hole with the same mass as the universe would also have the same density as the universe we exist in. Strange coincidence isn’t it? What if we are in fact data from the event horizon of a black hole projected onto another plane?

A philosophy also exists stating that our universe is the product of an extremely advanced simulation by a far superior intelligence, similar to what we saw on the Matrix. Details of this hypothesis are detailed by Space.com. We have no decisive answers yet, but the prevalent theories of the time see to indicate that the universe may be a non-physical entity. Perhaps nihilists had it right all along. Now that’d be something wouldn’t it?

Modern day Colosseum

A machine with a small patch of rubber on one end and an adrenalin pumped idiot at the other, with an explosive package of power in between. Like it or not, that is probably the most accurate (read honest) definition of a motorcycle. For most riders, the pinnacle of this imprecise science and exact art is in racing these machines. MotoGP is considered the highest playing field as far as racing goes. But there is another event, more controversial, so much so that in 1976, on the grounds of safety concerns, and after 4 years of several racers boycotting the race after the death of Italian rider Gilberto Parlotti during the 1972 race, this event was stripped of its title as one of the races of the Motorcycle Grand Prix World Championship by the FIM (Federation of International Motorcycling). Some of you at this point know which event I speak of, and for those that don’t, I refer to the Mecca of motorcycle racing, in its purest, most unbridled form- the Isle of Man TT (Tourist Trophy). This event takes place on the “Isle of Man”, a small, picturesque island that lies between Britain and Ireland.

In the race’s 107 year history, 245 competitors have been have been killed on this course, this number despite the fact that the race has been cancelled on several occasions: both world wars, and most recently in 2001 due to the hoof and mouth disease scare. Some argue that the race is too dangerous to carry on. This has always been the case but the event has been kept alive, independent of any global motorcycling federation, by the Islanders. It is now not affiliated with any other championship. One races on the isle for the glory and little else. Even the rewards are measly, especially if you account for the risk involved in simply participating. Sponsored primarily by the Isle of Man Department of Economic Development, a number of private companies Including Monster, PokerStars, Dainese, RST, Sure, and others. The event draws several thousand people from around the globe each year.

There are several aspects to this race that make it uniquely dangerous: it’s a time trial event, with riders starting at 10 second intervals, the goal being to make the fastest lap around the island. The current course, known as the Snaefell mountain course was added in 1911, a 60.67 km (37.7 mi) loop with over 200 corners is the oldest racing circuit still in use today. Here’s the clincher: the course isn't a closed race circuit built on the island. No, it’s the closed public roads of the island. You read that correctly, closed public roads make up the track for the TT. This brings with it the obstacles offered by any normal road – lamp posts, manhole covers, gravel, potholes, slippery patches, uneven off-camber roads, and the occasional sheep. The race has competitors spending as almost as much time in the air, jumping over the undulating roads, as they do on the ground. Near perfect recall of the entire course and all its complex corners is a minimum requirement to even survive this race, never mind complete. The race has several classes, the main ones being TT Zero, TT Lightweight, TT Sidecar, TT Supersport, TT Superstock, TT Superbike, and the ultimate race, the Senior TT. The big races take up to 6 laps, amounting to a bone tiring 364.516 km (226 mi).

This year will be the 108^th Isle of Man TT, scheduled to happen between the 30^th of May and 12^th of June: one week for practice and the second is race week. The course is open to civilians, during off hours, for the entire fortnight, and the mountain section is one way only, for that duration. In between the two weeks over which the event is held, on Mad Sunday, speed limits are suspended on the mountain section of the course and all interested members of the public are allowed to try their hand at the course.

The current lap record is held by Bruce Anstey, at 17:06.682 at an average speed of 212.913 km/h (132.298 mi/h) set during the 2014 Superbike TT. The most number of wins is held by Joey Dunlop (1952-2000) with 26 wins over various classes. The rider with the most wins among currently active participants, as well as the second highest number of wins all time, is John McGuinness, with 21 wins. His fastest recorded lap has his average speed at 211.904 km/h (131.671 mi/h) in the 2013 Senior TT. The first female competitor was Inge Stoll, who raced on the isle in 1954. Women have since regularly made appearances in the TT. The current female Isle of Man TT lap record holder is Jenny Tinmouth, with an average speed of 193.033 km/h (119.945 mi/h). The highest speeds recorded on the course are in excess of 320 km/h (200 mi/h).

Simply put the Isle of Man is the harshest, most perilous test of man and machine, a truly one of a kind affair. The sheer insanity of the idea has kept it alive and the dangers involved has served not to ward off new challengers, but instead attracted the most passionate kind of motorcyclists from around the globe. These men and women risk life and limb for the sheer honour of it all, and in the process put on the greatest spectacle in motorcycling history.

The Smarts

Always remember, intelligent doesn't mean you know everything. Otherwise, it would mean artificial intelligence has been around for a while and Wikipedia is the smartest entity on earth.

No, intelligence is the ability to understand the answers you find when you ask questions. In fact, questions are probably the more important part of intelligence, not answers.

Why I’m going to write

After twenty two years of making excuses to myself and everyone else around me, I find that a full year at a job which was a terrible fit (like trying to put a glove on my foot) is motivation enough to write. Really write and keep at it. All my life, I’ve done some form of writing. It’s been one of those things that comes naturally to me. It’s a lot like a boner, in a sense. Not at all convenient, and doesn’t always kick into action when you need it, but when it does, it can be quite fun. Writing to me has always been a big part of life, great for helping a range of emotional turmoil.

I’ve always known it’s something I’ve been passionate about, but I’ve always been the person who write privately and prefers to keep it that way. In the past, after a whimsical decision to become an author, I attempted to write a full novel, never mind that it was terrible and I never did get around to finishing it, but the truly sad part was that this too, has always been something written in private and definitely not shared with anyone. I suppose a fear of criticism, or worse, indifference has been instrumental in my non-committal pursuit of writing. But I’ve reached that point in my career (I've been working for almost a whole year now. I’m sure that’s enough) where I realise that my ability to perform well at mundane and repetitive tasks that are either serving no real purpose or earning someone else money, is shit.

So I decided I want to write. Not that I expect to make a killing (or even a living) off this. Mainly because I find it quite therapeutic and quite frankly, I just want to start putting my writing out there. If you've gotten this far in the article, I hope it means that I can safely assume you’re going to read more (of this blog), and I feel as a good human being I ought to warn you, this blog is going to be a huge mess. Spewed across it will be the contents of my brains. I’ll talk about string theory and black holes; V-Twin engines and the RC8r; social injustice and equal rights; legality and fairness; baking recipes and cocktail dinner ideas; I could go on, but I imagine you get the picture. I can't promise you much, but I can promise you, that if you listen, you maybe might learn something. Or, you know, have a good laugh at the poor idiot having a mental breakdown on the internet, but let’ not talk about that. In any case, welcome to my blog. Where we (I) write, because I can.

Subscribe, dammit.